Great Craigslist Post and Reply

Funnily enough several of my friends thought I had posted the reply you will read below 🙂

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think
I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

– Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my
feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

– Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story
there?

– Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

– How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front
about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t
able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.

PostingID: 432279810

THE ANSWER:

Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I
see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
cr@ppy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t
be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense
to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case
you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”

I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know.

Newsletter

Select list(s):
  • If she is as hot as she says maybe you should go do her Fab. Pop a Viagra and imagine that flame that comes out of the back of the old batmobile as your tally-wacker goes on turbo! Mr Grinda should you accept this assignment we’ll expect a full and detailed report Mr. Grinda. — Simple explaination for her observations: I think we men by the time we have some cash laying around are a little smarter than she takes us for.

  • Cher Michele and Fabrice: I’m glad this posting could provide some emotional stimulation on your blog. It certainly has for me.

    To this $500K gentleman, here is what I have to say:

    I am a female living in New York who could describe herself as this other girl has. I choose not to. The more important point is that have you, Mr.500K+, ever thought that your offer to lease is in fact not your default option but your only real option ? Look at it this way. If looks were my number one criteria, I’d keep the car running too. A cute smile, gorgeous eyes and hot bod are only interesting to me until the next sexy thing comes along too. So if all you’re into is paying first and last months rent, keep doing as you are. But every smart finance person knows you’re losing money.

  • excellent !!!! in terms of purchasing power parity, she might also consider other labor pools to decrease expectations and go in third world countries. As a foreigner, rarity would give more value, “hot and good lookin” would be more valuable over the long term and thus slowing down depreciation :))))) Focusing on Central Park might be the problem!

  • […] Grinda has just posted this on his blog. It’s an actual post and reply on Craigslist and one of the funniest things […]

  • Holy @!#$!!!!

    1. Those two equally personify the absolute worst qualities in both men and women and why our society is in the state it is. I find both equally offensive! Geezus!

    2. This is why I listened to my mother, went to college, made a career for myself, bust my ass and will never depend on a man. …Just have to figure to how to make a couple of hundred grand a year more with my skilsets.

    3. Brings to mind the old adage… “When you marry for money, you pay for it dearly.” …or something like that.

    4. My best friend was once engaged to one of the wealthiest men in America. She left him, the mansion on LI and the Tiffany engagement ring behind when she decided she couldn’t deal with his insanity.

  • Hilarious, that response is very you. “Pump and dump” is the best double entendre I’ve seen in a while.